so tired
Sometimes depression sucks the vitality out of you for months and you look for things to make you feel a little less exhausted, able to concentrate more, having emotional bandwith to cope with the daily challenges that for sure you will face through the day.
Staying in bed all day is not always an option... scratch that., Staying in bed all day is almost never an option so you have to find a way to muster the will to endure the day.
When I am weighted by the lead cloak of depression, I remember the pep that coffee ussualy provides. I know it is a sure bet that it will not work but still I am hopeful.
I wrote this when going through pretty heavy depression one morning before I even stepped out of bed.
Time to get up… You are exhausted.
You look at the day ahead of you, such a heavy and unwieldy burden.
You muster all the strength you have and get up knowing that you will have to do the same for every step you take.
Coffee, lots of it. The familiar smell of hope is comforting… Perhaps today your head will be clear if only a bit, perhaps you will have a tricle of energy, perhaps today the fog will lift a little and sunshine will caress your face… Perhaps...
Outside the world awaits, a daunting uphill battle of simple tasks and casual interactions that you know will take every ounce of energy in your body.
Standing at the front door like a high diver preparing to jump into the abyss, you shake your fingers, exhale, paint a smile on your face and step out into a new day.