Sometimes depression sucks the vitality out of you for months on end. You look in vain for things to help you feel a little less exhausted, able to concentrate more, or have the emotional bandwith to cope with the daily challenges that for sure you will face through the day.
Staying in bed all day is is very appealing but not always an option... scratch that., Staying in bed all day is pretty much never an option, so you have to find a way to muster the will to get up and try to endure the day.
When I am weighted by the lead cloak of depression, I remember the boost of energy that coffee is supposed to provide. I know it is a sure bet that it will not work, after all, it never does, but I still harbor a glimmer of hope that this time it will help.
I wrote the following paragraphs when going through pretty heavy depression one morning before I even stepped out of bed. The smell of freshly brewed coffe coming from the kitchen seemed like a promise that I knew it would not be kept.
Here we go again
Time to get up… You are exhausted.
You look at the day ahead, such a heavy and unwieldy burden.
You muster all the strength you have and get up knowing that you will have to do the same for every step you take.
Coffee, lots of it. The familiar smell of hope is comforting… Perhaps today your head will be clear, if only a bit, perhaps you will feel a tricle of energy, perhaps today the fog will lift a little and sunshine will caress your face… Perhaps...
Outside the world awaits, a daunting uphill battle of simple tasks and casual interactions that you know will take every ounce of energy in your body and mind.
Standing at the front door like a high diver preparing to jump into the abyss, you shake your hands, exhale, paint the best smile you can on your face, and take a step into the torrent of a new day.